Saturday, July 25, 2009

Last Ditch Effort for Marriage

Sometimes a spouse who does not want a marriage to end is willing to make some last ditch efforts for their marriage.

One thing is to pray and fast for wisdom as to what to suggest to your spouse and that their heart would be open and willing.

Here are some things to consider:

Some state laws have a clause where a party can request the court to order counseling. I believe Ohio is one of those states. Sometimes the judge will, sometimes he won't, but might be worth a try.

I have heard of instances of a court in California ordering a couple to go to Retrovaille.

Short of a court order, these are some things to seriously consider asking your spouse to try with you.

My suggestion would be to research these on your own, sort them out, present them to your spouse, and then if they are willing to do any, go, even if it is not your first choice. Then participate wholeheartedly.

Look at my sidebar for Intensives.

Retrouvaille is probably one of the oldest and most established and successful. Retrouvaille is held in retreat centers, hotels, and other venues across the country and is an intensive weekend led by people who have participated in the past. The material is the same regardless of where you participate. They also have followups. The last I knew they just asked for donations if you could. They had a suggested amount depending on the hotel costs. You do not have to share your struggles with others.

National Institute of Marriage and Sharon Hart Morris, do 2 to 4 day intensives, which include alot of professional counseling. These are more expensive, but divorce attorneys and having two households is not cheap.

What turned us around was a one day PAIRS traing by Jeff Williams from He can also do an intensive weekend customized somewhat to your situation.

If you search the web, there are many more alternatives.

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